Confessions of a saucy chef

Still here...

2009-10-16T16:00:49Z

...just lurking.

Enjoying spending time with my puppy babies.

Really enjoying working at the Youth Hostel, would be nice if there was a bit more people contact though. I get to learn a bit more stuff with each shift, which keeps my brain active at least.

Aware I should be way more in touch with many people, I apologise, internet time is hard to find at the moment.

Hope to see people at New Years :)

Help!

2009-08-17T18:37:56Z

Can anyone tell me the name of the park on Stanmore Road where the battle is going to be now? I kind of need to inform people.

saucy_chef @ 2009-05-20T20:03:00

2009-05-20T08:07:28Z

So I just spent half an hour ripping up carpet and underlay and pulling out the underlay staples in the hallway. Still have the wood edgy bits to pull up but my tools are not up to the job, another trip to the hardware store required, also to buy some of those metal jobbies that you put where carpet and floor meet. I also discovered that all the floors are polished except for two of the bedrooms, and they are the two we wanted to keep carpeted anyway, and as an added bonus the carpet is in the best nick in those rooms. I am now sneezing like mad, there is sooooo much dust, the hallway looks like a beach. Vacuuming is next on my list, then showering, then washing my bathrobe as I decided to pull up the carpet immediately after having a bath.

saucy_chef @ 2009-05-19T20:58:00

2009-05-19T09:15:34Z

I have been a housewife for four days now.

So far I have:
-Cooked four meals.
-Painted a bookcase (in a shade we call 'Gay Purple') and installed it in my room, wrenching by shoulder in the process.
-Cleaned the kitchen.
-Done seven loads of washing.
-Vaccuumed.
-Washed dishes.
-Put all my different variaties of dried pasta into matching glass jars, which promotes me to full grown-up status.
-De-cobwebbed the inside of the house (the outside is too scary to attempt).
-Sorted out my sock drawer (to discover I have a lot of socks, but not many pairs of socks).
-Sorted out my miscellaneous drawer (jewellrey, perfumes and fancy hair decorations).
-Sorted out my scarf and hat drawer.
-Been a Bunny Whisperer.
-Gotten thoroughly addicted to Farm Town on Facebook.
-Scored a couch to replace the chaise lounge while it is being restored (Robyn & Niamh rock).
-Discovered that underneath the carpet in the house the floorboards are ALREADY POLISHED, so I can rip the carpet up as soon as I buy some woodfiller for the holes from the carpet edging bits, instead of waiting years until I could afford to get someone in to polish them. This is VERY exciting!
-Reorganised the hot water cupboard.
-Put away the coffee machine that we never use.
-Soaked the labels off the interesting bottles I have been hoarding for two years with the intention of filling with infused oils and vinegars.

So a very productive few days, and now I really have to start some form of work. I have an 'informal chat' at a place tomorrow, and another lead to follow up. It sucks that I don't have the capital to start my own catering business YET, I have a reasonable sized customer base and all the gear, just not the dosh to get it off the ground. Because working from home would rock.
If I can find part time work that pays well enough, I may start in a small way.

saucy_chef @ 2009-04-09T13:53:00

2009-04-09T01:54:57Z

Home, after starting my journey on Tuesday lunchtime, spending 22 hours on four flights and eight hours in transit.

I have a small dog attached to me like a limpet.

Stories and pics to follow.

LA

2009-03-29T05:06:48Z

LA is big. Sass and I went for a walk and the whole conversation ran along these lines:

'Ooooh, yellow fire hydrants'
'Ooooh, those newspaper boxes like in the movies'
'Ooooh, the pavements are like the movies'
'Ooooh, a mound of dirt'

The light switches are upside down which can get a little confusing when drunk.

The Convention is full of scary, scary fangirls. We have met a couple of nice people, and got a prize in the karaoke competition. Random prize from America for the first person who guesses which song we sang!

We have had a lot of bourbon, and many purple nurples. The nice man in the booze shop taught me how to count the coins.

saucy_chef @ 2009-03-21T01:49:00

2009-03-20T13:53:15Z

Paddy's Day highlight:

Bimbo Waitress: Wow! These chips are really long!
Me: Didn't you know? We imported potatoes from Ireland so we could have authentic chips for Paddy's day.

(it took her half an hour to realise I was taking the piss).

saucy_chef @ 2009-03-21T01:46:00

2009-03-20T13:47:39Z

Yes, I did it.

And.......

2009-03-05T13:33:27Z

.....I was simultaneously making this cake...

11 inch chocolate cake topped with fondant. The crown and music score are also fondant, decorated with gold dust and gel colour respectively.

And here's another angle of the previous cake:

Paisley-tastic Wedding Cake

2009-03-05T01:42:56Z

This cake contains the equivalent of 16 standard chocolate cakes...

And took fricking ages to do, but it was worth it.

saucy_chef @ 2009-02-19T00:19:00

2009-02-18T11:39:27Z

So, today I made a wedding cake. I couldn't prepare any of it in advance due to working thirty hours in three days due to staff cuts (which are ridiculous, as cutting the part time staff who generally get minimum wages means I work more hours and I cost more....)

Anyway, it took about twelve and a half hours including baking time. I was rather crippled by only having one tin, so had to do three seperate bakings. At least the next two cakes I am making I am hiring tins for so will be A LOT easier.

I had to roll the fondant on the dining table as my lack of bench space is considerable. We are looking into buying/building a bench in the sleepout so I can do all the decorating bits without having to turn the house upside down, and in peace (the dogs have an over-fondness for fondant, as evidenced by Monty jumping onto the dining table. Thankfully there were only fondant scraps on the table at the time).

I also scored another commission when buying the sherry to soak the fruit in, the lady at the bottlestore wants a cake for her daughter's 21st. It's a nice and simple one, and I'll have the right tin already as I am making Fi's cake in the same week.

It would also be nice to be able to store the cakes in the sleepout when they are finished as I am terrified some catastrophe will occur tonight, I keep getting up to check on it as the bench is the only place I can keep it!

The bottom tier is fruitcake, the top bananana. The roses and stem I made from fondant then painted with food colouring. The detail is chocolate buttercream, the entire cake is covered with orange buttercream and fondant.

It looks a lot better in the flesh, the shadows look awful in this pic.

saucy_chef @ 2009-02-07T01:22:00

2009-02-06T12:33:50Z

So, announcement time. I am going to have a holiday, a real proper fuck out of the country holiday. I am going to the US of A. I have obtained a loan from the bank to cover flights and accomodation, and have managed to save over $100 a week so far.

I have also managed to go from a size 14 to a size 12 and have lost a cup size in three weeks by cutting fizzy drink and deep fried food from my diet in addition to sit ups and leg lift exercises every night. I am back into my sexy bras and some of the clothing I never thought I'd get back into. Current aim is to get back into all the size 10 clothes I've held onto in the hope of getting back into before I leave at the end of March.

saucy_chef @ 2009-01-18T22:04:00

2009-01-18T09:10:08Z

Long day due to over imbibing last night. Well worth it though! Also Keenie bought Katie in to meet me, what a sunny, happy little bundle of fun she is! And she approved of my 'chippies.'

Tonight was very busy but it all died down by eight.

Quote of the night:
Mel: 'Ben and I are going to get married!' (much wedding talk today) 'and I'm going to be the groom and Ben is going to be the bride!'
Ben: 'No way! Well, only if it's a f**king nice dress...sage green silk with gloves that go over my elbows and a garland of green roses and a black garter with skulls on it...I've put way too much thought into this...'

saucy_chef @ 2009-01-18T09:07:00

2009-01-17T20:08:31Z

That was a lovely wedding. Congratulations Nick and Becky.

Now off to work with a wee hangover.

saucy_chef @ 2009-01-15T21:43:00

2009-01-15T08:51:08Z

Work was fun tonight.

J told G that 'God was watching her, so she should do some work,' then used the kitchen phone to call the bar, asked for her and said in a deep voice: 'Hello, G, this is God. Do some work.'

A told R that she was a nutjob, and she screamed in a scarily mad voice 'NUTJOB NUTJOB NUTJOB! That sounds like a sexual favour!'

And A whacked me on the arse with a wooden spoon when I was off guard. It still hurts.

saucy_chef @ 2009-01-04T00:27:00

2009-01-03T11:49:33Z

J the barperson bought a frozen pie in to work today, so I defrosted it, heated it and then crisped it up in the oven. I then presented it on a plate with a sprig of rosemary (which we use as a garnish).

The response was:

"So is this stuff okay to eat? Cause I tried eating it once and it was like eating a bush....Oh. That was kinda wrong."

I got through today by laughing, singing and taking the piss wherever possible. I didn't sleep well and had a headache, so I tried to ignore that bit. Thankfully as soon as the thunder started my headache stopped.

I also made up a song today, to the tune of 'Glory Glory Hallelujah':

'Customers are fussy wankers
Customers are fussy wankers
Customers are fussy wankers
But they pay my wages'

In response to the order for a Caesar salad with no croutons, parmesan or caesar dressing, but with avocado and berry vinaigrette. We don't actually use berry vinaigrette, but I made some because it intrigued me. So it wasn't really a caesar salad anymore, but cos lettuce with bacon, avocado and berry dressing.

The other customers who requested really, really crispy bacon certainly got what they asked for. By the time I'd done with it it was less than half the uncooked size and could have been used to build houses.

The customers who asked for their fried eggs 'not soft' confused me somewhat, so I stuck 'em in the oven for a bit (the eggs, not the customers...for the moment). I mean...not soft? Does that mean hard yolks, or yolks that are not runny, just sort of a bit firmer than runny? Medium rare fried eggs?

saucy_chef @ 2009-01-03T12:08:00

2009-01-02T23:10:33Z

I think my kitchen hand is going insane.

Him: These onions are awful.
Me: That would be because they are lemons.

5 minutes later

Him: We didn't get any onions delivered.
Me: Yes we did. Do you mean lemons?
Him: Yes.

saucy_chef @ 2008-12-28T23:21:00

2008-12-28T10:30:41Z

So I usually make all my Chevy related posts on my secret fandom journal, but now a Chevy is in the offing, I should tell all.

As you know, I purchased the numberplate KAZ2Y5 a while back, and have been looking for a 1967 Chevrolet Impala with pillarless windows, just like in Supernatural. My darling stepfather even made a six hour round trip to view one that needed far too much work doing to consider purchase.

So I found one that is in Masterton, registered, warranted, and in very good nick for a 42 year old vehicle. The price is not too hideous, just three times the price I paid for my RAV. The sellers have been very understanding in answering my questions and taking close up photos of flaws (so far just a missing wheel trim, missing tail light trim and a small rip in the upholstery in one back door and the back of the driver's seat).

Then in today's email they revealed that the Impala in question ~~starred~~ was a prop in the film 'Blow' (which I haven't seen but definitely intend to now), and Johnny Depp was in the backseat for a scene! This is just infinitely awesome.

It also came from Arizona, a nice dry state, so is rust free.

Oh yes, she will be mine!

saucy_chef @ 2008-12-26T22:27:00

2008-12-26T09:49:19Z

So, Christmas. One of the best yet, mostly due to little family interaction. Cas, Matt and I went to Dad's and cooked breakfast for him and Grandma, then we had a lovely afternoon/evening with Robyn, Niamh, Sass and a sporadic Matt and Liz. And Singstar ABBA.

Christmas Eve I was still filled with Christmas spirit, so Sass hung up fairy lights and Matt sang Cthulu carols whilst I made eggnog and brulees.

The boys spent all day chomping on rawhide chewy toys and being general nuisances, so today they spent all day sleeping. Last night they turned the bedroom into a toxic gas chamber as a result of the rawhide and ham fat.

Lootwise, I was spoilt rotten. The boys gave me Carcassonne expansion packs, the kids gave me a Settlers 5-6 player expansion, Dad gave me Absolut Citrus and a foot spa and Robyn and Niamh showered me with many, many gifts, including DVD's, a duvet cover, a Pratchett, Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture edition and an adorable mini filled with candy.

The hand towel from my grandmother I was less keen on; especially as she gave Cas some top-of-the-range work socks. I shall have to remember which books I have borrowed and failed to return in a timely manner.

So, all over for another year.

saucy_chef @ 2008-12-24T14:43:00

2008-12-24T01:58:16Z

Our work do was glorious. After being dropped off by our chauffeur, who wore a suit and opened the doors and everything, hilarity ensued. There was an open bar (including top shelf), music, dancing, pool, lap dancing, hugging, groping, dancing, Irish dancing, singing, gay porn, Secret Santa, miniature blow up dolls etc. etc.

Arrving at work still rather pished the next morning I found the head chef lying face down on the kitchen floor, dead to the world. He did wake up in time for service, so I didn't have to work around him. After sending him home, I had a blazing lunch service, sending most tables out in five minutes, and the table of ten in seven minutes. The waitress decided against telling the amazed customers that the chef was still drunk.

Sass and I have decided the bourbon and cola RTD's we drank all night contained slow release alcohol, as we stayed pretty hammered all day. We have rechristened these RTD's 'The Christmas Spirit' and I am certainly full of it now. I have made white chocolate creme brulees and eggnog, and as soon as Cas arrives home with a balloon whisk the meringues will be underway.

Also fairy lights now adorn the lounge, the boys are wearing Christmas bandanas around their necks, their 'Have a Yappy Christmas' stockings are hanging up and I seriously considered buying a wreath for the front door yesterday. It was yummy.

So now have to crush the pistachios for the top of the brulees without eating them all, finish the meringues and wrap a couple more presents.

2008 Meme

2008-12-17T02:51:38Z

Post the first line of the first post of each month. How well does it reflect your year?

January:
I've taken the Rat as far as it can go (taking half the tables and putting a TAB in isn't exactly helping).

February:
Compared to last weekend's food extravaganza, today was a breeze.

March:
Computer went tits up.

April:
This morning I made cheesecake, pie mix and whiskey and honey dressing simultaneously.

May:
Work: Busy, exhausting, long hours, but fun.

June:
I am famous.

July:
Last night I made oven baked salmon steaks on roast potatoes and butternut pumpkin topped with spinach, roast tomatoes and hollandaise with avocado for Melly, Sassy and Rob.

August:
So, second day of breakfast shift. Talk about body clock adjustment. I just can't seem to sleep in the evenings.

September:
Just spent a lovely few days in Temuka with Troy, Sarah and Nikita, who is an absolute bundle of fun.

October:
Inadvertantly, my husband
appropriated
(took)
my car keys.

November:
Went over to the mall on my break today to purchase hayfever meds and found the entire mall Christmased up to the max.

December:
GLEE!

saucy_chef @ 2008-12-10T22:40:00

2008-12-10T09:51:14Z

GLEE! New shelveses thanks to JJ. I put them together and reinforced them with string tied to the weird hook thing that sticks out of the wall in just the right place - now it has a purpose!

I brought in many of my lovely, lovely books that have been languishing in the sleepout and arranged them. At the same time I took many, many books out to the sleepout. Even with all the extra shelvage, every bookcase is full and there are still more floor books to find homes for.

But many of my prettiest favourite books are now in the house so I can peruse them at will. I was also a little arty with my new display, a wine rack, the stereo, the sad fern, Psyche entering Cupid's garden, the willow basket and the vases given to me by my father in law also have mentions.

*SQUEE*

saucy_chef @ 2008-11-24T20:51:00

2008-11-24T07:57:17Z

So the doctor said I was stressed. No shit, Sherlock. Anyways I am on antibiotics in case of infection to my skin, non-drowsy antihistamines during the day and drowsy antihistamines at night. Also got two sorts of cream for my skin. The hair falling out thing will apparently sort itself out.

I feel better now I've got that sorted. Went into work for a couple of hours for a booze tasting (sometimes I love my job), and now Gilmore Girls awaits.

MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT.

2008-11-21T08:51:27Z

So far consistent with Wiki pics of alopecia. Considered it may be wearing too tight hair ties with too much hair. So Robyn trimmed several inches off the length. Also may be new work hat. Am reverting to bandanas from tomorrow. Called After Hours tonight but they seemed unconcerned and suggested I wait until Monday to visit my GP. I am too scared to wash or brush my hair in case it all falls out!

saucy_chef @ 2008-11-13T01:35:00

2008-11-12T12:44:46Z

So, today I arranged my new computer area to my satisfaction, sorted out the DVD storage situation so instead of two cardboard boxes taking over the living area they are now arranged in a relatively attractive wooden box under the table the televisual device resides on, did washing, vacuumed, washed dishes, cleaned the toast-and-coffee area of the kitchen (the only bit that really gets used), ate kebabs, drank wine and watched more episodes of Gilmore Girls than I'd like to admit to. I identify with that show in many, many scary ways.

Right now I'm either going to break out more Leonard Cohen or go to bed.